Its been awhile since my last post but that sometimes happens when you get busy with life. Someone texted me.... Life is whats happening when your making plans to live.... My reply was I am trying to find me again so I can get back to living. Alots changing these days and I don't know where life is leading me. These past few months have been filled with confusion, let downs, heart aches, and a love that is being torn from my hands. Come what may I say... I know the truth lies somewhere down this road. When I hold my son fight back the tears of good bye during eskimo kisses. With tiny I love yous because the hurt is so heavy. The lies the anger flood through me at the moment of recognition that everything comes down to two thumbs together w a lil twist and my son knowing it will always be me and him. My daugther who I haven not seen or spoken to in over month, did not show today for what reason I do not know. My heart broke as I waited for maybe just one glimpse of her beautifull smile. Yet no one showed, no matter the prayers made or the tears of desperastion fell. My strength wants to leave me and how could I blame it? I have abused it torn it down and became something else. My only desire is to live a life of fullness glitz glamour and fame!! Yea right, I want a small country home so we can't loose each other in it. But something simple. Come what may..one more time. I am in love no matter if he loves me back. I need you to hold me I want you to hold me. I need you to need me not somewhere out of the darkness but in the light where we were ment to be.
