Weary

Life shouldn't be this hard. I am growing so weary in the fight. It seems with every blow its harder and harder to get up. The wounds are festering and the scares are plentifull. With every move I feel the pain from the relentless beatings of so many years. Now down, I dont know if I have the strength to get up one more time. I want so badly to surrender to this darkness that surrounds me, to numb the pains that are paralyzing. Everything in me is screaming for mercy, for the hurt to subside. The blows just come harder and faster as my faith is failing me. My world I worked so hard to overcome and build is being torn all apart, Why God, why me, why now? I believed in you, I never would have thought you would have forsaken me in one of my darkest hours. My life seems to have less and less meaning and I am wandering in the darkness alone. I fear what may come next, the death blow the end. I fear even more that I want so badly to welcome it. But my heart the core of who I am says with such faintness," get up...one more time...Come what may."